The Friday Spew (31st January 2014)

What is this madness? The Sunday Spew on a Friday? Well, we’ve had Monday Spews, so why not a Friday one? Besides, it’s been so long, plus, it’s my birthday this Sunday and I don’t plan on being on this plane of existence.

NIGHT’S LABOR – This week we learned that the formerly unstoppable duo of M. Night Shyamalan (thank you, copy and paste) and Bruce Willis are teaming up again to make something called Labor of Love, which is supposedly all about an old guy who decides to walk across America to prove his love for his late wife. As one does. What with The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable being more than acceptable offerings I would hope that this one might be a bit of a return to form for Mr. Night. If it’s brutal though, or if he decides to put himself into this movie too, I’d like to suggest here and now that he be stripped of all his Hollywood powers and sent to live on Ittoqqortoormiit Island.

Here’s a trailer for the latest “YA” phenomenon to be made into a movie; The Fault In Our Stars. I have no intention of watching this film, in fact, I’m refusing to even watch the trailer because I’M NOT A MASOCHIST.

SUCK ON THIS – Everyone’s favourite Bad Santa and lovable pervert Billy Bob Thornton is set to join the cast of Entourage. Hooray! I don’t know about you, but I’d totally forgotten that they were making that film. Also, according to this E! article I read today, Vincent Chase (Adrian Greniererer), in a totally believable career turn, sheds his padded Aquaman wetsuit and takes on the iconic role of Dracula. Yeah, okay.

POSTERIFIC – We’ve had a poster overload this week. Empire released twenty-five special edition posters for X-Men: Days of Future Past. They look a bit crap to be honest. I don’t really get it either, are collectors supposed to buy twenty-five copies of Empire in order to catch ’em all? Have a look at them here and let me know below what you think. My favourites are Quicksilver because he looks like a Hackers reject, and Rogue because she’s not even in the movie.

We were hit with more poster spam from A Million Ways To Die In The West, which is Seth MacFarlane’s latest directorial foray. Liam Neeson is in it, and according to his poster (and posters NEVER lie), he’s “hung like an outlaw”, so I’m pretty much sold.

NOT THE IMP!Game of Thrones returns to our screens on April 6th, which just so happens to also be Murf‘s birthday. This is not new news, I know, but I wanted to make you all aware of THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE from George R.R. Martin.

FLASH NEWS – Details on the villains intent on making The Flash’s life a misery have begun trickling in. Reports suggest that we’ll be seeing Rick Cosnett (The Vampire Diaries) as Professor Zoom and Danielle Panabaker (one of the chicks from Piranha 3DD) as Killer Frost.

And now, finally, for our regular BATS VS SUPE segment! Well, the purpose of this Spew’s Bats Vs Supe segment is to tell you all that it won’t be a segment anymore, because it has been pushed back to 2016 and I’m sick of talking about it. See you in two years Warner Bros., you dopes.

My, but it has been a stark time at The Spew of late. In the space of three weeks I managed a whole two posts, which must be some sort of record. In Monsters University vs Despicable Me 2 I compared these two animated children’s films, and over at Cara’s Silver Screen Serenade I contributed a review of Pan’s Labyrinth for her Resolutions 2014 series. If you haven’t checked it out already, please do, it has been a wonderful blogathon with many more great reviews to come and bloggers to wade in still.

Muchos gracias this month to fantastic review blog filmstvandlife and to the always entertaining lads at The Dirk Malcolm Alternative for their Versatile Blogger Award nominations. To Desperado of the brilliant Sleeping Geeks for the Awesome Blog Content Award (never had that one before, woohoo ABC cherry popped!) and to my new, delightfully strange buddy, Blogged Artistry for the Liebster, I thank ever so kindly. I promise to post answers and facts soon!

And last, but by no means least, my thanks to Mikey of Screenkicker! for the amazing homemade Community Award, which he presented to me by way of Pug picture during his First Annual Screenkicker Blog Awards post.

I'm going to frame it.

I’m going to frame it.

With my WordPress Reader lately trying its best to give me anxiety issues, I’ve been relying on the use of my blogroll (which is in dire need of an update) for my daily blog catch-ups. I know I’ve missed a lot, but here’s what I managed to grab:

Adding to his Yesteryear section, JJames Reviews yesterday posted Days Gone By: De Niro and Scorcese, where he takes on Taxi Driver and Raging Bull, two of the duos’ most prolific films they made together. Chris from Terry Malloy’s Pigeon Coop reviewed 12 Years A Slave, and gave it a whole four out of five possible pigeons. Tim from Tim’s Film Reviews gave us his 10 Most Anticipated Films of 2014 and Joseph from The Cinema Monster released the results of his Best Films of 2013 Poll.

Game news and reviews machine John Heatz (and team) moved to, so if you’ve been missing your gaming fix be sure to add that one to your bookmarks. Pewie from The PewPew Diaries wrote a beautiful piece about Online Relationships and Janey from Cupid or Cats let us in on a secret with What I caught my boyfriend doing when I came home from work early today…

I’ve been very absent lately largely due to being sick, and during that time (as I mentioned on Twitter) my bed and I merged into one being. I made a list of all the things I watched while I was convalescing so I would remember to write about them later. It’s pretty extensive, and once I get over how appalled I am by some of my questionable picks I’ll post it. When my brain ceased melting I also got the chance to play some Hearthstone, which I really enjoyed and after a few hours managed to get myself to a respectable rank. But then I started losing games and that meant losing stars so I got scared and stopped.

As I mentioned, it’s my birthday this weekend. I share it with James Joyce and Shakira. I’m not entirely sure how I feel about turning the big 30, but I doubt I’ll be sober enough to give this aging concept much thought until at least Valentine’s Day.

Happy Friday everyone, have a great weekend! Much love.

His head isn't big enough for 30 candles, and neither is my cake. D:

His head isn’t big enough for 30 candles, and my cake won’t be either. D:

Have you anything to add? Tell me your news below!


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117 replies

  1. A beautiful post!


  2. great post V.

    Supes vs. bats is very very disappointing :(


  3. If Brucie and MNS mess this up, then retirement is due! And I have a feeling they will.


  4. Great post, hope you have a wonderful birthday.


  5. Have an amazing Birthday! I hope this year’s trip around the sun is the most interesting one yet!


  6. Awesome stuff, thanks for the shout-out! Have a terrific b-day :).


  7. So much wonderful SPEW! I’ma break it down.

    1) Thank you for posting those X-Men covers because I’ve been meaning to look at them all week. I agree–no idea why Rogue has a cover, and Quicksilver…Yeesh. Starting to get a little nervous about this one.
    3) Thanks for the shoutout and your excellent review! Given that it’s received more likes than anything else on my blog by a landslide, I’d say Pan’s Labyrinth has been a rousing success. :)
    4) Glad you’re feeling better!
    5) HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Go buy yourself a pug! Heck, go buy 30 of them!!!


    • 1) Oh me too. :( And I was so excited and looking forward to it, and I have such high expectations that I’m legitimately worried about it now too. Such a huge ensemble cast. I still have faith in Singer but I hope it’s not a mess.
      2) Could you imagine the reaction! Remember how the internet collectively screamed over Ned Stark and The Red Wedding? It would implode in on itself if anything happened to Tyrion!
      3) Thanks for having me! Writing that really helped me out of the dry spell.
      4) Thank you! Just in time for the celebrations/commiserations! ;D
      5) That would seriously be the best birthday present ever.

      Cheers for the responding spew Cara! I love it. :D


  8. Why didn’t they just let Entourage die around Season 4? Or bring Billy Bob in then? No can watch no more.
    I’m from Ballymena and Liam Neeson’s Mum was my dinner lady. I met him once and couldn’t speak.


  9. Happy birthday for Sunday. And I can’t believe you share it with my absolute hero, the person who has influenced me for most of my life…Shakira. Wow. And that other guy, what’shisname, that’s kinda cool too I guess. Ha!
    Thanks for the mention, for that I’m giving you a birthday dare. On the night of your celebrations I want you to hug a complete stranger (use your discretion, but be sensible!) and whisper in their ear “it was just how I imagined.” Haha, have fun!


    • Haha! :D I know exactly how you feel. I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am today if it hadn’t been for the creative and emotional influences of a certain snake-hipped South American songstress.

      I can’t wait to do that dare. Seriously. If it’s possible I’m going to get someone to record it. Thanks Janey!


  10. AAAAAAAAANDDD SHEEE’S BAAAAACK!!! Missed you there for a while V.

    Don’t worry, 30’s isn’t as traumatic as others would have you believe. I went through it recently, and I’m still in one piece…sort of. The night out and the heavy partying will do more lasting damage than turning 30 hahaha

    Hmmm, does this mean I have a new potential play-mate for Hearthstone?

    If you haven’t, head off to The Attic. Kim’s my first contributor and she’s been a busy girl…while I’ve slacked off :P

    I want to add something new to your list of things to watch: Bitten, a Canadian supernatural TV series based on a novel series…it’s so bad…so, so, so bad it’s worth watching for a laugh. It has it all: bad acting, terrible plot & characters, and much more. It fails on every level, even being INTERESTING. But it’s fascinating to watch (and not just because Laura Vandervoort’s gorgeous) because every episode is like a trainwreck-in-progress.


    • The jury is still out on the thirties Kev! I’m conflicted about it. On one hand it’s “Yay, birthday!” but then it’s “Oh no, 30”, but then it’s back to “But yay, birthday!” Presents will ease my pain.

      Yes, let’s play Hearthstone! How are you getting on with it? Been playing long? And what class did you go for? For a while I stuck with Mage but then I hit a wall so started over with the Priest. Which I like so far, but I have some serious deck building to do again. I’ll find my battlenet thingy and you can friend me.

      I just called over to the Attic and see, this is what I’m talking about. My reader goes: 2 mins ago, 17 mins ago, 27 mins ago and then 1 MONTH AGO! Wtf is that. So I’m missing so many great posts.

      Bitten sounds AWFUL. Prime hangover viewing for after the party celebrations I’d wager!


  11. Thanks for the mention. Always appreciated. Good post. And more importantly Happy Birthday and have a great time :D


  12. Thanks so much for the shout out! Also, probably a good decision on not seeing The Fault in Our Stars. Apparently I am a masochist, because I will see it. Either that or it has Shailene Woodley in it, and (at this point) I’ll see anything that features her.

    And happy 30th. It isn’t a big deal, I promise. ;-)


    • Have you read the book? Everyone is crying over it. I’ll just read your review and that will be enough for me!

      Thank you. :) Everyone is being very comforting about the 30 thing here, which will be a nice preparation for the ribbing I’m going to get from my friends this weekend. Especially from the ones who have already turned thirty because I was so mean to them on their birthdays. I deserve this! ;D


      • If you were mean to them, then you do deserve it. I hope they’re merciless. :-)

        And I did read the book. Actually just last week. It is fantastic – it is also sad. I cried no less than 7 times, including once while driving my car (with the kids in the back seat) when I wasn’t even reading. Strangely, though, it is somewhat uplifting, at least at the end. It is an excellent novel (that might hard to turn into an equally strong film).


        • Oh, they will be! :o

          A huge part of me wants to read the book, and another huge part of me wants me to spare myself the pain and the tears. I cry when sad songs come on the radio for crying out loud, that book would probably completely undo me! At the same time, a lot of people whose opinions I would trust (including yourself) have said it’s fantastic.


          • At various points, I found myself with the very same feelings, actually, even while reading it. The quality of the writing kept me coming back, but several times I told my wife I didn’t think I should be reading that book. Now that I’m finished reading it, though, I am very happy I did so. Not many works of fiction hit me the way that one did.


            • Indeed, it’s a rare find that tugs so absolutely on your heartstrings, while at the same time, being well-written! If anyone has sold me on the book, it’s definitely you. ;)


  13. Happy birthday and don’t forget to get ridiculously drunk.


  14. I also have no intention of watching ‘the Fault in our stars’ as it looks like it was designed to wring and yank heartstrings shamelessly. I agree about The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable: it would be cool if Shyamalan had a return to form; I’m not sure it’s possible as I think his best dayas are long behind him (the last great thing he did was produce “Devil”). In fact, how does he even get work?

    Seth MacFarlane doing a comedy western? The posters look like fun, and I’m sure the fim was a blast to make, but a western seems like a pretty easy target, and wasn’t this done already as “Blazing Saddles”? Mind you, now that Tarantino has had a hissy fit and won’t be making his western, maybe we need this.

    I saw the thing about the Empire covers for X Men. Mostly it depressed me, as I didn’t realise Empire Magazine was 25 years old … it used to be the BEST film magazine going: best reviews, best interviews, great articles, and it always felt less corporate than, say, Premiere …. is it still good? honestly, it sort of fell off my radar


    • You make a good point Niall, how the hell is that bloke still getting work!? Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that a big name like Brucey wants to work with him, and I suppose the studios would think he’d get bums in seats. This particular premise doesn’t sound at all like The Sixth Sense or Unbreakable (no fantasy elements, why, M. Night, why!?) so we’ll have to wait for more info I guess. But I’m not hopeful.

      The posters do look fun, and I’ll definitely check out the film. Not sure if I’d pay to see it in the cinema though. As for Tarantino, actually meant to write something about that. Did someone steal his script or leak it or something? It’s a shame he went all diva, I thought Django Unchained was great and I’d like to see more of that kind of thing.

      I don’t read Empire anymore myself. That’s actually the first time in probably a year I’d even read an article from them, and that was purely because of the X-Men covers. When they get big, things seem to change.


      • tarantino gave the script to 5 people: Tim Roth, Michael Madsen and Bruce Dern, and a couple of other people … one of those people showed it to their agent, and then it got leaked. and then QT had a hissy fit. He said it wasn’t Tim Roth that did it, and I’m pretty sure Madsen wouldn’t do it …


        • It’s like a game of Tarantino Special Edition Cluedo. Really though, how can anyone be surprised that someone would show a script to their agent? Or is that a complete no-no?


  15. Oh, and Happy Birthday in advance … :)


  16. Great post, and Happy Birthday in advance! Hope you have a great one. I myself turn 29 in a little over two weeks, and am not yet dreading 30. Be sure to let me know how it goes for you! :D


    • Thanks Vincent! Ah, 29. I remember it fondly. Actually I don’t remember it at all really, apart from this overwhelming sense of relief over not being 30. “A whole year away,” I said to myself, “Lots of time before I’m officially OLD.”

      It flew in. Treasure these late twenties moments, Vincent, TREASURE THEM.

      Ah no, seriously, the best part about turning 30 is that the rest of your friends have to too, and not all of them will take it well. I cheered myself up frequently by mercilessly teasing all of the sensitive ones.


  17. 30? You’re still a young pup! ;)

    Happy birthday!


  18. As the owner of two pugs, this really cracked me up.


  19. I shall say this before the liquid entertainment starts flowing: Happy Birthday to you! Many happy returns and tequilla shots!

    And don’t worry, turning 30 was great. Now 40…


  20. It’s impossible for me to read M. Night’s name now and not hear “WHAT A TWIST!” from the Robot Chicken sketch. I really can’t trust him anymore. He was like my abusive Hollywood boyfriend, promising me good movies then just embarrassing me in front of everyone. I tolerated The Village, suffered through Lady in the Water and I refused to see the damn killer tree one. Because no.

    I just found out today that Quicksilver is played by Luke Evans from American Horror Story so I’m happy as I love love LURVE him in that show.

    Yay for posts! I should do one too!


    • I still haven’t watched American Horror Story! I must. In fact, I might started it tonight because it’s all on Netflix. Thank The Maker for Netflix.

      Funnily enough, I really liked Signs. The Village was meh, and then I was completely put off by Lady in the Water. So much so I’ve managed to erase so much of it from my memory. Comparing him to your abusive Hollywood boyfriend is genius, and so, so spot on.


      • The first season is fantastically creepy. Skip series 2 though, and just go right to 3. I love that they are all self-contained stories in each “season”. You will be creeped out though, oh yes you will.

        I liked Signs too!!!! “Swing away” is one of my random lines I will say every now and then. Village was when I began to lose faith, and then LitW was just such a mess.


        • I’ve heard Season 2 was definitely the weakest. I usually hate skipping stuff, but since they’re self-contained stories I’ll probably get away with it!

          “Swing away” is an awesome line. I had a few genuine jump in my seat moments while watching Signs.


  21. That Shyamalan film sounds distinctly un Shyamalan-y. Which is probably not such a bad thing at this point in his career. At least it can’t be worse than After Earth… can it?


  22. Just so you know, I just made a call to a close friend who lives in Cleveland. He and his “associates” will shortly be paying a call on the miscreant germ that made you sick. Trust me, that germ won’t be bothering anyone ever again.

    Secondly, while I appreciate the fact that you need to celebrate your 30th birthday in a memorable fashion, it concerns me that you are planning to, at least temporarily, leave this plane of existence. I hope you won’t mind, but I’ve taken the liberty of building and deploying an inter-dimensional retrieval beacon that’s accessible from anywhere in the known universe. Should you find yourself unable, due to temporary sensory dysfunction, to find your way back to our plane of existence you need only: close your eyes, tap your heels together (shoes are optional), and quietly scream, “GET ME THE EFF OUT OF HERE.” At that point my beacon will take whatever action necessary to bring you home. You might want to warn anyone standing, sitting or lying close to you at that time to move a few feet away. I’ve calibrated the beacon just for your mass, plus a small margin for temporary expansion due to beer and pizza. I’d hate to grab a small piece of someone else by accident. That would be very painful and would probably leave a scar.

    Finally, I’ll bet you five dollars (or the equivalent in euros) that you see “The Fault In Our Stars.”


    • Dorothy ain’t got nothing on me. My shoes are even optional. I’m back from my dimensional travel, JF, I thank you for your much appreciated assistance. And not just for the beacon, but for the hangover cures too. ;)

      And you’d probably win that bet. I hate not knowing what everyone else is talking about. What does that say about me? I have no idea, but it’s that compunction that forced me to read Twilight, and thus began the most painful few hours of my life.


  23. You mad thing! Have a great day tomorrow… I shall lift a glass or five in your honour… while I braai the meat… has to be done, I’m afraid!

    PS – We share a month… even one of the numbers… we must be related! ;-)

    Alas… I’m circumvented the sun about twice as often as you… alas! My liver can testify to that! :-P

    Again, have fun… Happy Birthday!!! (Would it be rude or bold if I said here’s a peck on the cheek fer ya… ? ;-) )


    • Are you a 12 or a 22? :D Thank you! My liver sympathises with your own after the weekend’s activities, I don’t feel thirty, more like fifty. And not rude or bold at all, tis what birthdays are all about!


  24. Happy birthday! I wonder if anyone will gift you 25 copies of Empire magazine.


  25. Happy birthday, hope you had a great one and you’re feeling better :)

    And thanks so much for the link!


  26. So ready for GoT.


  27. Happy birthday!!! Great spew by the way. Can’t wait for GoT, hope everyone dies again! I turned 31 around a year ago and Ive finally decided to abandon my dream of becoming a ninja :( I hope you can keep the dream alive!


    • Thanks Mikey! You can’t give up your dream of becoming a ninja though, there’s still time. TELL ME THERE’S STILL TIME! I need the hope for life after 30 Mikey, I need it.


  28. A bit late but happy birthday! I’m turning 30 this year and I don’t think it bothers me but I can just see myself having a breakdown the day before my birthday and shouting “No God not me!” But thats just cause I like being a bit melodramatic. I’ve read The Fault in our Stars and its quite good but I did wonder why I was reading it because I knew it would make me cry. Can only hope the film does it justice but we’ll see.


    • Thanks Lauren! It wasn’t as traumatic as I thought it was going to be (prone to the dramatic here myself!) and on the day itself I kept thinking, “Is this it!?” Like I was expecting some gigantic announcement and someone to turn up to teach me how to disparage the younger generations and their music and choices of nightclub attire. Then I realised I’d been doing that for years anyway. :D

      I often wonder why I’m putting myself through the emotional turmoil by reading these kinds of books or watching weepy movies, and I swear I’ll never do it to myself again, but I inevitably do.


  29. Fun stuff V! Hmmm, what does it take to be featured on the Spew? ;)

    Oh, and happy belated birthday you young’un you!


    • Two things Ruth! Firstly, it has to appear on my broken Reader, and secondly, it has to be awesome. Like when I discovered your blog! I’m pretty sure you’ve been featured on a previous Spew or two! And if you haven’t, then this is a travesty I must rectify.

      And thank you! I waited far too long to enjoy being called “young”. Take me baaaacckk! :D


  30. V Oh my frigging God V!!!

    I just read this! Not feeling like much of a buddy knowing I was absent during your illness, birthday and (perhaps worst of all) I didn’t get to sneak up from behind and scare the snot out of you while you were engrossed in the Pan’s Labrynth flick :)

    So go on and rock your birthday month you Tricenarian Aquarian you!

    Happy belated from across the pond!



  31. Apologies for arriving to this festival so late, but I couldn’t find my keys.

    Happy Belated from DSB!!! :) Hope it was great and look forward to MORE FREQUENT UPDATES DAMMIT!!! :D :D


  32. Posterific – Oh my God, those are terrible. All of them. Except for maybe the shirtless Wolverine one. Nope, still awful. That huge artery on the left arm is creeping me the hell out. With all of the unemployed graphic designers out there, stuff like this makes me uncomfortable. The second one is particularly bad. (Havok) Something is wrong with the lighting that makes it likely that his head was photoshopped on from another picture. It just looks like some random college guy photoshopped himself onto a magazine cover. And you are completely spot on about #8 (Quicksilver). Just shameful. And #12… just so sad.

    Is it just me, or does it seem like young, actually-talented actors are hard to come by these days… Everything just seems so camp.


    • Yesss! They just look… bad. Camp would be a good word for it actually. I feel like there was no need, and if they felt a need, they went about this in the absolute wrong way. It doesn’t look slick or professional, it looks like a poor, half-cocked attempt to sell issues. Know Your Audience, Empire! We know good graphics work when we see it, and that’s not it at all.


  33. Aww – The Fault In Our Stars is actually a pretty good book. ; ) Hope you had a great birthday! : )


  34. All the best V, I was a bit depressed about turning 30 but for better or worse it soon passes haha!


  35. It seems like I have to scroll down forever just to post a comment these days :]. I’m glad you’re feeling better and I’m sorry it took me so long to read this. I’ve been neglecting my blog reading this month because I’ve been so busy. It’s not easy planning a two year old’s birthday party.


    • How did the birthday go mate? I’ve been missing in action myself, life ain’t the same without my daily dose of go-to blogs and blog buddies.


      • It was great thanks for asking. My daughter actually had two birthday parties. One at an all you can buffet, and another on her actual birthday. She loved it. Life gets really busy some times so no one can blame you for not being around. It’s nice to have you back though even if it is just a brief hello :]


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